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Express. Discuss. Ask. View. Suggest. Request. Give Ideas. Share Ideas.
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~ You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
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~ Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
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~ Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
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~ Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
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~ From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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~ No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
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~ The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
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~ Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
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~ It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
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~ Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
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~ Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
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~ In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
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~ A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
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~ In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
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~ I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
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~ Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
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~ Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
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~ Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
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~ It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
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~ I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
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~ If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
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~ Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
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~ The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
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~ Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
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~ I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
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~ Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
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~ I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
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~ I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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~ Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
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~ In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
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~ The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
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~ Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
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~ I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
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~ You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
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~ I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
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~ A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
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~ There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
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~ Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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~ But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
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~ USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
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~ A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
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~ Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
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~ I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
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~ Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
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~ They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
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~ Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
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~ There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
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~ Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
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~ Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
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~ Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.